You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You and the stranger both like art, and postmodernism.
Stranger: You and the stranger both like art, and postmodernism.
Stranger: what do you know about postmodernism
You: erm, quite a lot.
Stranger: Can you tell me Lyotard is?
You: Sorry but is this an exam?
Stranger: Yes, I’m questioning the validity of your intellectual capacity.
Stranger: And the fact that you most likely know very little in regards to postmodern art.
You: Why? To make you feel better about yourself? If you were being sarcastic it doesn’t show on here, sorry.
You: Oh Christ, you really are up your own arse aren’t you.
You: I hope you realise you’ll gain very few friends talking down to people like that.
Stranger: How can one who is interested in such topics not be?
You: What, a bigot?
Stranger: And I’m not looking to gain friends
You: Not sure.
You: I think it’s perfectly possible though.
Stranger: Bigotry is completely irrelevant here..
Stranger: has nothing to do with bigotry
Stranger: as if you have any expectations of someone on here
You: Seriously, get over yourself. Noone is impressed by your knowledge of philosophers or postmodern theory.
Stranger: Not trying to impress anyone.. simply am.
Stranger: time for someone to step up to my level
You: Okay, so what made you instantly assume I know less than you?
Stranger: The fact that you’re on omegle, and I have no other means of judging you and/or observing you.
Stranger: The fact that many people on here feign their knowledge or art, film, and the likes.
You: You’re on Omegle. We both are. You have no upper hand there.
Stranger: I do subjectively.
Stranger: I know what I know.
You: Exactly - subjectively.
You: This is all in your head.
You: Maybe I should play down to your expectations
You: You’d love that.
Stranger: In my head? This is mostly stream-of-the-consciousness jargon spew for me.. not sure what you’re getting at.
You: Just do everyone a favour and keep it locked away up there.
Stranger: Having no ego on here = dull, trite, incompetent, etc.
Stranger: I’m sure you’re quite the proletariat
Stranger: I make good use of irony on here too.
You: Yep, you nailed that one on the head. You do come off as extremely bitter.
Stranger: No, hold on..
You: Knowing your love of gross generalisations you’ll probably call me a psychologist
You: for saying something like that
You: And, nothing. You pontificate freely and I’ll do the same.
Stranger: Every human being grossly generalizes, it’s inescapable.. and most of the time, first impressions make the largest impression. That’s just how it is..
You: And I have no reason for pointing out that you come across as extremely unlikeable other than because I hope you can change, but I doubt it
Stranger: Again, likeable/unlikeable not really an issue here.. you seem too concerned with petty emotional details.
You: You’ll probably come up with some clever sidetrack or just attack me, but why are you so bitter if I may ask?
You: I’m not concerned, but I’ve had to deal with it. You’ve talked to me like this.
Stranger: If you have to ask, “why s0o0 bitter?” then I have nothing to really explain
You: Jesus you really do spend your life on the internet don’t you
You: Don’t know why I had to ask
Stranger: I’ve spent numerous occasions socializing and interacting with peers
Stranger: I’m always irritated and strongly uncomfortable
Stranger: in my head, ofc
You: You remind me of the uncyclopedia article for ‘you’
You: Oddly enough.
You: Are you British?
Stranger: and fuck uncyclopedia
Stranger: some lame 4-chan shit
You: I don’t spend enough time on the internet to have anything other than indifference for any of these sites.
You: I just happened to be on it while browsing
You: It’s always pretty depressing when people get themselves genuinely angry over things that barely exist physically or matter in real life
You: i.e. websites
Stranger: “real life”
You: Yes, as opposed to an electronic reproduction of flittering fragments of real life.
You: And don’t bother getting all metaphysical on me.
Stranger: implying use of vulgar language has some emotional implication
You: I really can’t be arsed.
You: Come again?
You: What was vulgar?
Stranger: You seemed to correlate my use of a pejorative to some over-generalized assumption about anger and “angst”
Stranger: I have angst seeping from my cerebral cortex
You: You sound like Will Self.
You: Everyone has fucking angst seeping from them. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
Stranger: Nah, “everyone” is mostly dull-minded, uncultured, and frankly completely illiterate.
Stranger: in the context of omegle
You: Obviously. How long have you been using this site?
Stranger: Then wtf are you getting all up in my grill for??
Stranger: Nice job contradicting yourself
You: And you know what I meant by ‘everyone’, anyone with a vaguely respectable intellect
Stranger: Nah, you never made that aware.
Stranger: just keep saying “everyone this,” “everyone that”
Stranger: how pedantic of you lmao
You: Well, in your own words (or to paraphrase them) - “everyone generalises”
You: I’m ready for a nitpicking.
You: I know that’s not exactly what generalisation means.
You: Here we go.
Stranger: Indeed, but you seem to have this hellbent altruistic “get over yourself” attitude that is perpetuating conflict more than it is preventing
Stranger: the fact is, you should get more into yourself
Stranger: and care less about others
You: Nope, I hate myself as much as you hate yourself
You: Maybe that’s how it happened
You: I’ll try to stop talking like that though, sorry.
Stranger: I hate myself more than anyone
Stranger: stop acting like you don’t comprehend vanity though
Stranger: annoying as fuck
You: Comprehend vanity?
Stranger: comprehend vanity
You: I’m not sure what you mean. I know what vanity is but I don’t see what I’m ‘not comprehending’
Stranger: wtf are you understanding
Stranger: getting on some morality “oh plz” soapbox bullshit
Stranger: when you yourself are just as equivocally a hypocrite
Stranger: I’m way beyond petty name-calling and labeling
Stranger: you aren’t
Stranger: pretty simple.. tbh
You: I don’t even know where to start in terms of defending myself as you seem to be on some sort of bitter moral crusade even though I haven’t said anything remotely nasty, vain or judgemental for at least 5 minutes
You: And you just called me a hypocrite
You: Apart from that being “name-calling”
You: In the most blatant sense
You: It also makes you a hypocrite
Stranger: lmao THAT’S THE FUCKING POINT
You: Sorry if I somehow offended you by trying to be reasonable. Not all conversations have to be intellectual duels.
Stranger: They do though..
Stranger: at least on here
You: And it wasn’t the point, don’t pass that off as some kind of far-flung humour of yours
You: Not convincing
Stranger: I’m too absurdist and postmodern for you to comprehend
Stranger: I’m ahead of the curve before you even conceive it
You: How impressive
Stranger: Anyhow, this all began because you seemed to have issue with my sentiments of bitterness and irritability
Stranger: I’m an misanthrope.. don’t know what to tell you
Stranger: I’m extremely persnickety in regards to who I actually confide in / consider as an equal social comrade
You: You’d be excellent as a troll.
Stranger: I trolled myself before (you) even got offended
Stranger: waking up = getting trolled
You: How adorable
You: You and your internet sentiments.
Stranger: u can’t internet
Stranger: u can’t internet, son
You: I’m not trying. I’ve often though, I’m glad I when I see something internet-y and don’t know what it means
You: It’s reassuring
Stranger: You’re a female, right? How old are you? Don’t pen me into some misogynistic pigeonhole either.. because you’re clearly female
Stranger: if anything, I come off as the more androgynous one
You: That’s hilarious
You: That actually made me grin
You: You’re actually adorable.
Stranger: that just makes me more irritated “:(“
Stranger: can’t be taken “srsly oh noz”
You: I can’t understand why you’re still talking like that
You: I’m not making this up, I really don’t bother with ‘internet cool’ or whatever you like to think of it as
You: Being cool at the internet is almost always inversely proportional to cool in real life.
You: So you may as well drop it
Stranger: Internet persona has about 0% relation to any identity being assumed irl
Stranger: jumping to immense conclusions here
You: You must get all the girls with such ornate vocabulary
Stranger: implying I’m heterosexual
You: Most men are
You: I wasn’t assuming
You: Are you gay?
You: I love how you instantly defended yourself as not a misogynist
You: you didn’t want to be pigeon-holed
Stranger: hmm? I’m pansexual
Stranger: I don’t view perceive gender as a concrete material form.
You: That must be liberating for you.
You: Don’t patronise me.
Stranger: You’re worth patronizing
You: You don’t have to define every obscure term you throw at me, thanks.
You: Everyone is worth patronising in your opinion, if it makes you feel better about yourself.
Stranger: I’m more feminist than over 50% of females
Stranger: irony intended
You: Sorry, so why am I worth patronising?
Stranger: I was just being facetious
Stranger: trying to rile you up
You: Like you have the entire conversation
You: Hence what I was saying
You: It’s adorable in a sort of teen angst kind of way.
Stranger: Having the upper hand ftw
You: *Perceived upper hand
You: How old are you, just out of interest?
You: Just a number will do.
You: Delete whatever sentence you’re typing.
You: And give me just a number first
Stranger: Why, so you can liken me to a teenager? Please.. if that’s your idea, you’re nowhere near my level maturity.
You: Nevermind, I knew I was never going to get an answer out of you
Stranger: fucking hell, just disconnect already
Stranger: I’m 22
You: It’s fine though because I know not to trust anything you say so
You: Why do you want me to disconnect?
Stranger: you’re being irritating again
Stranger: compromising my age
You: You just told me to ‘disconnect already’, prefacing it with ‘fucking hell’.
You: I’m naturally going to be concerned.
Stranger: wtf? Once again, you’re all up on this morally neutral/self-perceived adulthood soap box bullshit.. Being extremely irritable and bitter has nothing to do with age… this isn’t some byproduct of some contrived sense of cookie-cutter Mall-shop made “counter-culture.” Tell Franz Kafka that he shouldn’t be bitter.
Stranger: You seem like the type looking forward to “settling down”
You: I’m sorry, but you can write me an entire essay on why you think I asked the question, but I was simply interested.
You: And not at all, I’m 21.
Stranger: thinking about kids?
You: Not at all.
Stranger: I’m aiming for solitude.
You: That sounds like something to aspire to.
You: It must have been a nasty feeling when you realised you’re so unique that noone on the planet deserves your companionship
Stranger: I’m sure when I move out of this area, I’ll find people of interest to associate with.
You: I’m sure. Which area is this?
You: I’m from Britain, you don’t have to worry about keeping it a secret.
Stranger: Do you watch Look Around You?
You: I asked a question first.
Stranger: NC, uS.
You: Well, it’s an honour to meet the most intellectual and unique person from NC.
You: No, I haven’t heard of it
Stranger: Who’s being patronizing now?
You: Me. I think, on balance, you earned it.
Stranger: oh well.. it’s half-true anyhow lmao
Stranger: take half of it at face value
You: I always do
Stranger: What’s your taste in film
You: I’m sorry - you care about me now?
You: I thought your interests extended as far as belittling morons you find on omegle
Stranger: curious if you know Mike Leigh (which you don’t)
Stranger: but he’s a British director
Stranger: one of my favourites..
You: “which you don’t”
You: I’d be much more inclined to talk about anything if you could show some fucking manners ocassionally.
You: Anyway I’m sure my film taste is nowhere near as gritty and esoteric as yours, so I won’t embarrass myself.
Stranger: Do you think James Cameron is real film?
You: He’s a human
You: Not a film
Stranger: you just don’t understand my semantics, obviously..
Stranger: wasn’t meant to be interpreted literally
Stranger: you disappoint me yet again
You: “yet again”
You: Obviously I knew what you meant
Stranger: then you’re just being petty…
You: The most retarded person on omegle could understand that sentence
Stranger: no dignity in that
You: I know, because you’re still being rude.
You: And I’m find for dignity, thanks.
Stranger: well stop being petty or disconnect.. I’m rude and a prick, deal with it
Stranger: “hurr hurr”
Stranger: literally my response to your attempt at sarcasm
You: Well I wish you weren’t, because you’re obviously extremely intelligent, so you’re wasting it by being so bitterly incompatible with regular conversation
Stranger: “I FUCKING HATE MYSELF AND WANT TO DIE”
You: I’m just being honest
Stranger: I’m just being cynical
You: And I don’t know what the whole thing of putting speech marks around your sentences is about
Stranger: you wouldn’t
You: What is that supposed to mean?
You: I know I wouldn’t, and I’m happy that I don’t
Stranger: idk, but I’m naked and need to jump in the shower now
Your conversational partner has disconnected.
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